During a recent sunshine-filled morning, I set out on a little adventure through GGP. Mid-wander I found myself upon a peculiar scene. Four little boys, roughly 3 or 4 years old, where having a T-ball lesson with some baseball cap wearing, gym-shorts-for-all-occasions kind of guy. While the mothers stood, arms crossed on the “sidelines” each little boy took a turn at bat. Then, with each hit, the little boys and the dude would take off around the imaginary bases for a homerun victory lap. One little boy stepped up to bat and on the first try walloped a good one out into what would be center field. This little boy knew the drill and raced around touching each imaginary base, while the last little boy barely made it to second base before loosing interest and walking back to the sidelines.
The next little boy hopped up to bat, swung and missed. “Try again,” “Eye on the ball,” rang the mom’s voices from the sidewalk. Finally, with one mighty swing, the little boy launched the waffle ball way past imaginary third base, but instead of taking his victory lap began squealing, jumping up and down and shouting, “kiss, kiss” while hugging and kissing all the other little boys. “Hey, no kissing,” shouted the coach, “we gotta run the bases. C’mon.” And he was off, but the little boys were too involved in there love fest to notice, and the hugging and kissing continued. After the coach had taken his victory lap solo, he tried again to get the boys attention. But the excited little boys just looked confused. They were excited and something good had just happened. Why were they supposed to stop? I pictured the little boys celebrating with mom when something good happened at home, like pooping in the big boy potty. That’s when mommy gives you a big hug and kiss to let you know how proud she is of you.
Well little boys, I am afraid the time for hugging and kissing is over. It is time you learn to be a man. Now, you are being taught to take your victory lap and the attention of all the adoring fans, not to express your excitement and joy through physical means with your friends. It is now time to have your value mirrored to you externally from the roar of the crowd as you humbly round the bases with the greatest of ease while enjoying your time in the spot light. Geez, no wonder all little boys want to grow up to be athletes. They learn early that outside recognition and praise feels good, like mommy’s hugs and kisses, only past a certain age, one becomes more desirable than the other.
As I walked away from the scene, I couldn’t help but feel a little sad for what I had witnessed that day. I wanted to encourage the little boys to kiss and celebrate any way they wanted too. To enjoy and express their feelings of excitement and joy, but as just a childless bystander out for a stroll, I knew it wasn’t my place and told myself what all future parents think: “My children will be different.”
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