While out for dinner last night with my gorgeous friend, Molly, I noticed we were getting some attention from a table with very decent looking guys at it. Hanging out with Molly, this is the norm because dudes always stare at her because of her goddess-like good looks and long, blonde mane; but this time, the one of the guys was looking at me! I mentioned to Molly that she just might be my good luck charm...
But then to my horror, I discovered why I, not my friend Holly was getting all the attention…
The Sitch: Molly and I were grabbing a little pre-concert din din before going to see our favorite bluegrass band...thus, dressed for the part, I was wearing a nice little dress and boots. But, being summer in San Francisco and FREEZING, I was also wearing tights. What I failed to remember was that they were not leggings, but the see-through kind. So, when I slid off my boots and hiked my legs up Indian style to enjoy my tortilla soup in comfort, I was actually giving this table of dudes a full frontal view of my crotch donned in bright green underwear with gigantic white polk-a-dots. (Now that things have gotten really personal, let’s just add that unlike my jeans, which get worn out in the thighs, this particular pair of tights is actually ripped and has a decent-sized hole in the crotch…)
So, I’d like to apologize to you, long-haired, jewish-looking boy eating a burrito with your buddies last night…I’m not sure what you saw, but I’m damn sure it wasn’t pretty. Oh, and that hole in my tights, that was an accident, sicko…I don’t usually go around wearing crotchless tights…
