After realizing how much money the government takes for taxes, I decided to work “under the table” as a nanny until I can get back on my feet (Don’t get your panties in a bunch IRS, this is a few hundred dollars we are talking about here). But boy, I had no idea what I was getting into…
Finding gigs was actually pretty easy. With it being summer and all, families were in desperate need of coverage for nannies out on vacation, busy with summer internships or just because they needed a break from their own damn kids.
My first family had a little girl I will refer to as Boo-Boo Daddy (BBD) because she was just learning to talk and everything was BBD…I mean EVERYTHING. There would be times the precious little creature would be screaming BBD only for me to find out later that all she wanted was a glass of milk. Or another time when she decided she didn’t want to poop in her diaper, so she took it off and shit on the floor. Awesome, really fucking awesome.
I ended it with BBD because after four hours with the kid I would be so stressed out that I would have to immediately go home and smoke a cigarette then take a nap…The damn kid was just too overwhelming!
So, for my next family, I decided to try to take it down a notch. Something more mellow and more like my upbringing, so I set up a time to meet with a couple who are both therapists like me. I had a little bit of trouble finding their house and arrived about 5 minutes late (obviously not a good sign for someone you are thinking about hiring, but I was late nonetheless). Dad Therapist answered the door and lead me down a very cluttered hallway filled with boxes and I casually inquired, “Did you recently move in?” “Oh, no,” he replied, “We’ve lived here for years.” As we turned the corner into the living room, I began to notice a smell, something like kitty litter and all that comes with it. “Do you have cats?” I inquired. “Oh, yes,” he said, “We have two. They are our other babies.” And proceeded to bore me with the names, ages and special talents of each critter. (Don’t get me wrong, I love animals and have lovely little fur ball of my own, but I think I was too overwhelmed with the stuff and smells to really take it in).
I tried to make my way to the sofa, but had a little trouble getting over/around the glorified play pen that had been set up for the little bundle of joy. “Probably to keep her away from the cat piss,” I thought.
As I waited for Daddy T to go get the rest of the crew, I took in the room and all of the stuff in it, ‘cause man, there was a LOT of stuff…probably not like a “Hoarders” amount of stuff, but pretty damn close. To make matters worse, none of the blinds or windows were open adding to the already claustrophobic feeling of the place and the smell. “How do people live like this?” I wondered. Open a freaking window! Let some light in… The rest of the interview didn’t go any better and when I left, I didn’t even inquire as to when we would be speaking again. The thought of having to spend 8 hours a day in that room made me a nauseous…I was fucking outta there…
Luckily, not long after, I landed a gig with a wonderful family. Their little boy, who I will call Frog, is the sweetest, most lovable little boy on the planet…No joke, I just wanna hug ‘em and squeeze ‘em and kiss ‘em, but the kids gotta sleep and eat…so we just kick it. I find myself filled with gratitude on my early morning walks over to Frog’s house. Although we won’t be in each other’s lives for long, we will have spent just enough time together to make an impact on each other’s lives. I’ll teach him how to sneak on the back of the bus and his mommy will pay me enough money to pay my rent J
No comments:
Post a Comment